Swingers are easy-going people. They love to live their lives to the fullest, leaving no stone unturned. Despite the advancements in technology, products, and even sex, it is sad to note that the swinger lifestyle is seen much as taboo.If you plan on becoming a swinger or want to know more about what they do, then you have come to the right place. We might want to warn you that swinging isn’t for everybody. However, if you plan to try it out, then the best way to begin would be through a soft swap.
The basics of swinging
The main reason why people whisper about swinging is that they do not have any idea about it. Swinging is done by people of a like-minded community who don’t mind taking things a notch beyond the narrow mind.They like to engage in sex-related activities and have excitement in their otherwise boring lives. The arrangement is consensual, and all parties are present in the same room. We see no reason why anybody has to become judgmental here when everybody is having fun with themselves.
The main reason for looking a swinging as a taboo
Many couples whom we have spoken too, said the same thing. Initially, they were quite apprehensive about it due to fear of society. That is why you have communities where people of the same mind indulge in these activities without disturbing anybody in society.But now they feel very comfortable and open about the idea. In fact, they have roped in their own friends and single friends looking for some fun. All of them are quite happy with their sexual engagement, as swinging has brought a new lease of freedom into their otherwise mundane lives.
How do you raise the topic with your partner or lover?
This kind of lifestyle is acquired. Not everybody will be comfortable with this idea. The same can be said about your partner or lover. First, you may want to find out if your partner is open-minded.
Usually, an open-minded person won’t mind trying out something out of the box. Mind you; this is not something you are going to do with your partner. There are going to be several or multiple partners in the same room.When they are comfortable with the idea, then you may want to take the next step.
What Is A Soft Swap?
Couples who indulge in swinging share their partners with the other spouse. In this sense, your husband or wife will be engaging in activities like kissing, rubbing, and caressing somebody else’s partner.
Depending on the kind of agreement you both had, you can decide on how much is alright. In a sense, in same room swapping, couples indulge only in non-penetrative sex. There is a bit of kissing, fondling, and maybe oral sex.That is about it. In-swinging, everything is OK, as long all the parties involved are comfortable doing it.
How to get started with the soft swap?
The best way to have same room swapping would be to find a reliable community through online. You would be surprised to know that several like-minded people are living around you.
In a sense, you have communities where people undress in the same room. They talk to each other and move around as if it is normal. Here, there is no kissing, fondling, or oral sex. In fact, there is no touching involved.You walk in, remove your clothes and sit around with people naked. Likewise, you can choose official sites that are reliable because safety is the main priority.
What is the boundary in swinging?
This factor lies with all the participants involved here. You could either arrange it in your home or in the other person’s home. You can have around 4-10 members. The lesser the members, the better, initially.
Couples exchange their partners with others on a mutual agreement. In a full swap or hard swap, everybody is allowed to have penetrative sex. In a soft swap, you indulge only in kissing, caressing, and oral sex at the most.Soft swap is the best way to get yourself acquainted with swinging. You indulge in a bit of kissing and check your comfort measure in front of your partner. When you both are alright with it, then you can take it a step further next time.
Other forms of hard of soft swap
There are two kinds of swap in swinging. One form is known as the soft swap. We just read about it. The second form is called as the hard swap. You may have guessed it by now. This form involved plenty of sexual activities, including group sex.The hard swap is also known as the full swap. Soft swap is more of getting to know the other person mildly and gently. You could call it a way of having soft feelings for a good friend with whom you like to have a relationship with, but you both know where to draw the line.
Different kinds of settings or environments
It is not necessary that you have to meet in a stipulated place or room. You can arrange for it, anywhere. It could be your home or apartment. Perhaps, you can travel down to their place if you are alright with it.
Before engaging in the act, you may want to speak about everything to the other couples or friends who have gathered. This way, nobody is upset or annoyed with anything that is going to happen.All of you are going to get undressed, and things will get heated, causing some unexpected activities to happen. You cannot control them.
How do you control your emotions if things get heated up?
Though many couples agree on a soft swap, it most likely ends in a hard or full swap as you are all naked. However, it is a good idea to keep your clothes on. This way, you know when to end the act before you are not able to control yourself.However, when you are doing it and find that you are alright having penetrative sex with each other. You don’t mind your partner have sex with the other person; then you can indulge in the full swap. Specify the rules to avoid confusion if you are not sure about ethical non-monogamy.
How to ensure safe sex during soft swap?
We want to ensure that our readers take reasonable precautions to crop up unwanted issues after your swinging party. The main issues with swinging are pregnancy and STI. Nobody wants to end up getting pregnant or STI transmission.
When there is no penetration, then pregnancy and STI transmission is significantly reduced. But you never know how things could go and end. Since you will be smooching, rubbing with each other, you may get carried away and remove the other person’s clothing in some cases.In this case, you can likely to contact skin infections if the person has any.
Swinging and jealousy are hand in hand
Like pregnancy and STI, you can get jealous seeing your partner enjoy or getting enjoyed by somebody else. This is normal. But when you are not comfortable with that idea, then you might as well drop the idea.
When you are not sure or secure about swinging, then it is okay. Swinging is not meant for everybody. Many couples have put swinging on hold until they are comfortable with each other getting lusted by somebody else.The soft swap is an excellent way for you to indulge in swinging. As long as both of you are comfortable with the setting, then you can hop in.
What to do when you both get carried away?
When you are in the presence of an attractive individual and like what you see, things are bound to get hot. You may get carried away and want to have sex with them. You try hard to control yourself from doing it, but before you realize it, you are orgasming.These things happen. You may want to talk about this before engaging in the act. Perhaps, your partner had non-penetrative sex, and you did it with somebody in the soft swap. Maybe, you can let them have penetrative sex the next time. This is a real risk in a soft swap for several couples.
Things to know when engaging in soft swap
While the idea is extremely interesting and stimulating for many couples looking to spice and enhance their sex life, it comes with few limitations.
You do not want to cross the boundary line.
Frankly speaking, this is easier said than done. It depends on the kind of partner or person you are with in another room. Besides, your partner is not going to be around to monitor you guys. Several couples have had issues with this regarding were to cross the line.Soft swap strictly means no penetrative sex, and you will want to make sure it stays that way. We do not see anything wrong in kissing, caressing, fondling another adult with their consent as long as they are comfortable doing it with you.
Use adequate protection
When you want to go ahead and indulge in penetrative sex, then you must use protection. Most communities ensure the well-being of the members. They make sure that medical checkups are done periodically.
Members are required to undergo medical examinations. However, you would want to take precautions when and where necessary. Always take protection with you if you are prepared for having sexual intercourse with the other couple.Besides, there is a chance of contracting skin diseases if you are not careful when giving oral sex to somebody else. Make sure that they are clean and do not have any skin ailments.
Talk about it in detail before indulging in it
You may want to talk about it in detail with your partner before engaging in it. Of course, your partner too has to give consent in the first place for you to involve in same room swapping or soft swap.It is more of a fling or a night out with somebody. There is no place for having for romantic feelings. The same can be said about the soft swap, but it involves only kissing, caressing the body, and a bit of oral sex, too, if both of you like each other and are comfortable with the setting.
Same Room Swapping; FAQ
What if I’m not comfortable with the other guy?
The same room swapping is relatively safe for women. You don’t lose your partner or don’t have to do anything you don’t like. This is a mutual agreement between like-minded couples. All you need to sit down together and talk about the dos and don’ts.At times it is alright for some couples to be very particular about certain things like having penetrative sex or oral sex, for that matter. When you feel that you will not be comfortable kissing or fondling the other guy, you can either signal it to your partner or be direct to him.
What if I want to have sex with the other woman/man?
In the soft swap, one thing leads to another. When you are comfortable kissing and caressing the woman or man, the inevitable will happen eventually. To avoid misunderstandings with anybody, including your lover or partner, you might want to have a chat about it beforehand.Like, if your partner is interested in making out with the woman and you do not want to have penetrative sex with the other man, then you sit inside the room and watch things unravel. Most reluctant partners tend to get enticed into having sexual intercourse eventually. We encourage you to do so if you are alright with the arrangement.
Won’t I get infections kissing or having sex with another woman/man?
It is best to go through a group or community. You will be surprised to find that almost every town and city in the world has soft swap groups. There are rules set by the groups that members have to abide by.Of course, you and your partner should decide and think about it. We recommend doing it through communities because you know that you are safe. You may want to ensure that you are healthy and get tests done in few months. There is no harm in verifying the medical reports of the couple you plan on having a soft swap with.
My partner is upset with me because I had sex in a soft swap?
These things happen during a soft swap. Though the understanding is that there should be no penetrative sex, it often happens. All the kissing and fondling will lead to having sex. That is human nature, and you have to go by it.However, both of you are in the same room. You can discuss on giving signals to each other about whether you are planning on having oral sex or penetrative sex. When your partner disapproves of it, then they can make it known to you there itself.
Will it affect our relationship if we involve in a soft swap?
There is no question of affecting your relationship with your partner. You are doing it with the approval and consent of your partner. You have like-minded couples who don’t mind swapping their partners with others.Besides, your partner is present in the room and most likely in the arms of somebody else. It gives you the ability to shed your inhibitions. Your lover or partner will be grateful to you for this arrangement. Technically, you are not hiding or doing anything behind your partner’s back, full stop.
Soft swap couples indulge in everything apart from penetrative sex. If you, by chance, happen to meet a couple or swinger who involves in the soft swap, then do not hesitate to find out what they mean.
Make sure you don’t upset anybody in the same room, including your partner, by crossing the boundaries, even by mistake. There is nothing wrong or illegal indulging in the same room swapping with other swinger couples.Consider it a way to enhance your sex life to get better to know each other well.